Zig spends a lot of time in the kitchen, as you might already know. I also spend a lot of time in the kitchen, which means there’s a lot of opportunity for bleed over when we’re cooking. Yesterday morning, I had a craving for “coffee cakes” (explained below), which had blossomed this morning into a full blown NEED for Mocha pancakes. Yesterday, Zig joined me in the kitchen and kept up an amusing commentary on the process, and today was no different (except that he was a little less hung over, and I decided to write it all down today).
Cooking with Zig
Editor’s note: Zig’s pancake mix of choice is Bisquick, which calls for eggs. You can totally just skip down to Step Whatever if using Krustease or homemade baking mix or whatever. Just don’t skip Step 1. Never skip Step 1. Ever. Step 3 is also somewhat mandatory. (…don’t ask me how something can be “somewhat mandatory”. I have no idea. This is Zig we’re dealing with here.)
Step 1: Make coffee
Stagger into the kitchen, start a cup/pot/whatever your brewer makes of coffee. Get familiar with this one people, all breakfast recipes start this way. If you’re a super pro, you’ve already got a timer set and all that jazz. If you’re a super, super pro (or just really love coffee), you’ve already got some cold left over coffee hanging around from the day before. Go you, you are the only person who can skip step 2.
Step 2: Put all the eggs you’ll need into a warm water bath.
THIS STEP IS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT. I’m not kidding, people. It is about the only step that I’ll actually harp on. I’m not a measury kinda guy, things get tossed into a bowl with wild abandon, but DO NOT FUDGE ON THIS STEP, unless you like pancakes studded with scrambled eggs- which gives me an idea….
(Coffee lovers at the head of the class, you can totally skip this step. The point here is to keep your hot hot coffee from scrambling your eggs for you. It’s called tempering. In more serious recipes, you’ll see this done all fancy like with slowly adding eggs to hot liquid. It’s probably not important for this recipe, but better safe than sorry.)
Step 3: Your coffee is ready, have some coffee.
I know what you’re thinking- how does he know my coffee is ready? Well, Seer, for one, but actually, you can’t proceed until the coffee is ready, so…yeah.
Step 4: Make with the eggy liquid fusion magic.
A common step in pancake making, but an important one. By now, your egg(s) should be warm, so crack it(them) open, pour some coffee straight from your mug and go to town with the whisking. Err on the side of less is more, cause you can always add more liquid, but you can’t take it away, which is why we’re making mocha cakes in the first place. Which reminds me…
Side trip: The difference between “coffee cakes” and Mocha Pancakes.
At this point, we’ve actually done a little time travel and are following the steps for coffee cakes. That comment about “less is more”? Yeah, I totally made too much eggy coffee fusion combo magic liquid, and so had to make waaaaay more batter than I’d intended. So I stuck it into the fridge (with no lid, cause I’m gross like that) and figured I’d do something with it later. That later was this morning and that something was Mocha Pancakes. Without a lid, the batter dried out and got that protective crust that things left uncovered in the fridge do. That’s a problem. Solution? Chocolate syrup. Lots of it. And a little more milk. Ta-da! Mocha Pancakes.
Alternate Step 1 for Mocha Pancakes: Make with the chocolate factor.
Make some chocolate milk, add chocolate to your coffee. Buy a mocha yesterday and leave it sitting you fridge all night, whatever. Mocha is just coffee + chocolate. You can do this people. I believe in you.
ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE POINT
Ok, so where were we? Oh yeah!
Step …whatever step we’re on: Add the dry to the wet.
Let “less is more” be your guide again, cause what’s
said is said been added can’t be taken back. You’re going for somewhere North of crepe batter, but South of biscuit dough. It’s not bread science, it’ll turn out alright.
Step somewhere before all of this: Pre-heat your pan
Also, unless you like last-night’s-wilted-kale as a garnish, make yourself actually WASH the pan. Wiping it out with a towel is insufficient.
Step “Am I seriously walking you through how to pour pancakes in a pan and cook them?”
This doesn’t need any actual commentary, right?
Oh whatever, I’ve gotten bored with this. Just look at the pretty picture and eat some pancakes. Have another cup of coffee, too.