This is why we edit

Sometimes, a scene just comes out wrong. Like, horribly, horribly wrong. Like, Rain’s mom reacting COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE OF HOW SHE SHOULD. I think, in the first draft, I was alluding to some sort of a magic messing around with her, but this is just so much better.

She awoke from a nap to a text from Zig.

Hey, you’re out of school now, right?

She blinked sleepily but sent back a Yeah, what’s up?

Meliki could tell you more about your supermace, if you let her see it. Should I come get you?

It took Rain a minute to remember what the hell he was talking about, but when she put it all together, she sent back Yes, please. She should check me out, too. I think the well-water is messing with me again..

Zig was on his way out the door in an instant.

There was no way that was right. She hadn’t had any well-water in days, it’s affects would have worn off long before now. But it was the only experience with foreign magic she had, so if something was reminding her of it, it couldn’t be good.

He’d pulled up in front on Rain’s block before remembering he hadn’t texted her back that he was coming. Tentatively, he pulled the bike up into the driveway he thought was hers, walking up to the French doors and peering inside with a polite knock.

So that’s what this is all about! You’ve met a boy.”

Rain froze in mid-step, releasing the door knob and turning slowly to face her mother. She’d raced so quickly downstairs at the sound of Zig’s bike that she’d nearly collided with her mother. What on earth was she doing in the kitchen? Or even home at all? Rain hunched her shoulders sheepishly, backing away from the door as her mother strode over to open it..

Honey, why don’t you have your boyfriend come inside and say hello, instead of skulking around outside.”


Rain couldn’t believe it. She didn’t know what was worse – that she was accusing Rain of sneaking out to meet her boyfriend, that she thought Zig was her boyfriend, or that she was calling her daughter out on it in front of the boy she thought she was dating.

Zig stood back from it all, covering his grin with his hand. He could see where Rain’s mom would freak. Here is this obviously older guy, with piercings and tattoos and a flaming skull helmet tucked under one arm, come to whisk her baby away on a motorcycle. Funny how no one ever freaked out as much over the Vespa.

He thought he’d do the Rain cloud a favor and take point on this one, seeing as she was sort of stuck in horrified stammer mode.

Hello, ma’am,” he said, extending his hand and putting on his best “such a nice boy” act. “My name is David.” He smiled at her, knowing it always made his face look more boyish.. Usually it annoyed him, if anyone pointed it out, especially in comparison to Tripp, who always managed to look so much older. But for now, it was convenient, and he’d use it to his advantage.

David?!” Bad enough that he’d showed up unannounced, but now Zig was lying to her mom? What the hell?

Zig winced, wishing Rain had stayed freaked out in the corner. Luckily, her mom was too busy taking in the blue hair and snake bites. When she didn’t bother shaking his hand, he tucked it behind his head in an “Aww shucks” kind of move. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“I wish I could say the same.”

She gave him a frosty glare, taking him in from head to toe, and clearly unimpressed with what she saw. Typical. Why did everyone always judge books by their covers? He wished he’d taken a second to grab a jacket so at least the bulk of his tattoos would be hidden. He just wasn’t used to covering up. Most supes judged him for his fey eyes, the alternative look was incidental. He hadn’t expected to have to play nice with a suburban mom. Ah well. If she was already against him, he may as well play it up.

I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself sooner, ma’am. Brooke here sorta didn’t want her dad finding out til she’d figured out how to break it to him.”

She raised her eyebrows at him, not convinced. “I can see why. He’d throw a fit over you, young man.” Her eyes narrowed and she advanced on him, words hissed from between clenched teeth. “Did you know she was a minor when you started dating, or did you just assume she was old enough since she was helping herself to your alcohol anyways?”?”

What the ever living hell? “David” she could wrap her head around. Faking being her boyfriend, she could ignore, if it got them out of her sooner. Acting like she gave a crap what her stupid step-dad thought- it was almost enough to make her wish it were true, just to aggravate him. But her mom accusing her of running around like some hooligan, slutting it up and drinking all the time- too much. “Mom! I wasn’t drinking! I just -” She stopped, realizing that she was about to blow her mother’s replacement memory wide open. Damn. This was hard. Way hard. She needed a truth she could stick to, and boyfriend cover was just as good as any, no matter how weird it was. She hated that anyone would ever thing someone like Zig was her taste, let alone her mom, but she’d do what she had to.

It was just the one time, like I said. Usually we just watch movies and hang out and stuff. I never know where you’ll be on the weekends and I hate hanging around this big empty house when I’m alone. It gets creepy…”….” She scuffed her foot and dropped her eyes, trying to appear embarrassed instead of angry.

Her mom gave her a long, hard look, then sighed and stepped over to her, giving her a tight hug. “Listen, sweetie. I know things have been weird since we’ve moved, but we’ll get it all worked out, alright? You just make sure you don’t hide anything from me and I’ll help you figure out how to break your boyfriend to Myles, alright?” She pulled back, and gave her daughter serious mom face. “Just no more lying to me, ok? I can’t be on your side if I don’t know where that is.”

Rain nodded, smile genuine. This was more the mom she’d been missing.

She looked past Rain and Zig out to his motorcycle in the driveway.

Well, at least now I know why you’ve been so reluctant to get a car. They must seem pretty boring after rocketing around on that.” She turned and moved back into the kitchen, shaking her head.. “At least you’re both smart enough to wear helmets.” She gathered up the flowers she’d been washing and cutting when Rain had come barreling downstairs. She fussed with them for a minute, tucking them into the vase and fluffing them unnessecarily. Finally, she let out sigh and turned to look the pair of them over.“I can’t believe I’m condoning this. Be careful you two – and be back well before the gates close at curfew.

I will mom.” She smiled at her mother, throat going tight with emotion. She crossed the kitchen and wrapped her mom in a tight hug. “And thanks.”

Her mother pulled back and returned her smile, brushing her bangs from her face. “I know I can’t really stop you- you’re too much like me. At least this way, I can pretend to still be a responsible parent and maybe you’ll keep me in the loop?”

I will, mom. I promise.”

She searched her daughter’s face, though for what, Rain wasn’t sure. She blinked as her mom pulled her back into a hug, then abruptly released her and took her flowers and walked out of the kitchen, still shaking her head.

And then Rain was left standing in the kitchen with Zig, who was chewing on his knuckle in an attempt not to laugh.

Oh, shut up, you!” she yelled at him, as soon as they were outside. “This isn’t funny!” She hit him on the arm when he went from broad grin to full on laugh.

Of course it is!” he said, dodging her next blow. “And don’t look too pissed, your mom’s watching from the upstairs window.” Rain ducked instinctively, turned to see her mom smiling down at them and waving, albeit in a creepy, phantom in box 5 kinda way. She groaned and waved back, snatching the helmet from Zig.

God! This is so embarrassing!”

Zig laughed and climbed on the bike, waiting for Rain to settle in behind him before walking it back down the driveway. He made a point of driving away extra smoothly, taking the corner as gently as possible.


4 thoughts on “This is why we edit

  1. Pingback: Weekly Writing Goals: August week 1 | Raevenly Writes

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