I’ve actually had this misfortune this year to me a real, live bully. We all encountered them in school, but this is my first experience with an adult bully. It took me several months to realize it, but once I understood, I just couldn’t stop seeing all of his behaviors for exactly what they were.
This man is in middle management and currently my boss for another few days (totally unrelated that I chose this moment to dissect him). He is well over twice the age of everyone who works for him, which is what makes most of his behavior wildly inappropriate. For example:
A 20 year old calling another 20 year old a “wuss” for electing not to drive in bad weather is douchy friends being douchy.
A 55 year old man doing the same thing is inappropriate at best. Doing it in an attempt to coerce the kid into getting back on the road because delivery drivers aren’t real people is bullying, and kind of evil.
Interrupting someone in the middle of them talking to someone else about how they like red pepper flakes on their pizza is not only rude, it becomes racist bullying when you announce “Of course you do, given your heritage.” Yes, all Mexicans love hot things. Well done you.
Asking the thinnest girl in the store “Where are you putting all that?” when she goes for a second slice of pizza? Bullying again.
Telling the taller than average girl that she should try on the 6x shirt, then, when seeing it comes down past her knees, suggesting the 4x? Still a bully dude.
Trying to reach out to the kid on ADHD meds because “all he needs is a father figure”, then turning his name into an insult to throw at the other employees when they don’t perform up to your standards – standards that you’ve never actually laid out?
I could keep going, but I’m getting kinda angry just thinking about it.