I finally found my first chunk of editing that was deleting instead of adding or re-writing. This scene, this dreadful scene, serves no purpose. At least, no purpose that isn’t done better somewhere else in the story.
Meliki hoped Zig had been paying attention, and had gone to fetch the girl. She couldn’t drain away this woman’s hysteria for long – not without her witch keeper noticing. She realized belatedly that what she had felt was not the witch feeding her anxieties, but rather relaxing his hold on them, letting her natural concern for her child show through. How many months had he soothed her, smoothing over her worries and distracting her with pretty parties and gifts?
“Oh darling, what have they done with her? Who are these people? Where’s Br-baby, where’s my baby?” She remembered at the last second her husband coaching her not to give away their identities. Who knew what kind of people had her daughter, or how they would use any information against them? Matha had never dealt with anything like this in her life. Sure, they’d lived in one of the poorer neighborhoods, before Myles, but still, it had been relatively incident free. She carried a mace with her and instructed Brooke to do the same and they’d been alright. Now, suddenly, this. Myles assured her everything was likely fine, that when Megan’s mother had called asking if Brooke needed a ride, that there was no need to panic. Children did all sort of rebellious things at this age, and she was probably just acting out against all the changes. But he would find their baby and bring them home, he’d promised her. Now, here they were, back on the bad side of town, in a tattoo parlor with a giant spider for a logo.
What had happened to her baby girl? How had she missed this?
As the wheels started to turn in Martha’s head, Myles changed his grip on her emotions, directing her thoughts back to the fey and her lackeys. They were the ones leading her astray, they were the ones responsible for Brooke lying to her mother. Brooke was just young and confused, as long as we keep her shielded from bad influences…
Meliki raised an eyebrow as she felt the witch’s power shift, but said nothing. The mother had stopped sobbing and yelling, that was good enough for her. She was content to let the witch handle his own messes.
I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it, but I’m glad to know I can cut it without worry. It’s the only scene told from her mother’s point of view, and she’s just flat a weak character. She doesn’t need to narrate at all, and I’m not sure why I had her do it in the first place.
So long to bad rubbish at least.